Confessions of a tired being
![](https://images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/6ef83ce8-6d7f-4873-8baa-95a1139fa06c/dazr5ty-e104c24f-5bef-4f6f-bfe7-325db4b42022.png/v1/fill/w_300,h_30/moon_phase_pixel_divider_by_hybridsart_dazr5ty-fullview.png?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7ImhlaWdodCI6Ijw9MzAiLCJwYXRoIjoiXC9mXC82ZWY4M2NlOC02ZDdmLTQ4NzMtOGJhYS05NWExMTM5ZmEwNmNcL2RhenI1dHktZTEwNGMyNGYtNWJlZi00ZjZmLWJmZTctMzI1ZGI0YjQyMDIyLnBuZyIsIndpZHRoIjoiPD0zMDAifV1dLCJhdWQiOlsidXJuOnNlcnZpY2U6aW1hZ2Uub3BlcmF0aW9ucyJdfQ.kNc8Nfo3e098iVCQoF4_jd0GIjXg4MpRZetK-8ZbWmo)
at least in the end, one person has sorta got me. But even then i'm not sure. We rp the brutal stuff i want. And they seem interested sometimes. but reminding myself they're busy and not upset is hard.
wheni've been too high coming home i've been spiraling. I hear allthenames i go by. And then i hraear caorls name. But i'm not her. thats not my name.
Istill imagined it though. The fight. The worst ending. he calls me by her name to insult me. but i put my hands on his neck like her. I scream and beat at him for it like her. And when he's bloody andunre sponsive beneath my bloody fingers I sob like her.
But i'm nother. i'm barelyu strong enough to hurt myself let alone others.