Sleep and Dreams

Wishing for emptiness in a mind far too busy.

Really need to figure out how to make boxes and other things so this will be neat and not just a whole ass document. Going to do my best to make this look cohesive with what I have now.

Starting at a young age I really needed an escape, and in the era of the early 2000s you could find a number of interesting things on the internet. I'd been told about lucid dreaming by that horrible woman at one point, and after enough became enough I looked up how to do it. I don't exactly remember what made it work that last time. But I remember suddenly being a lot more aware in my dreams. Not so much in control as what a lot of people think Lucid dreaming is. I had no physical/mental power over the dreamspace at first. I was just aware i was there. It was like waking up in a strange elsewhere. It was after one dream where I dreamt I had wings, only for them to burn up on my back that I decided I had to have a new way to fly. It is horrible to feel your own wings burn into nothing but bone.

As time went on I learned to interact more with the dreamspace. What I call Elysium.

I fall asleep expecting to wake up at a scenario/location. If I don't like whats going on I push with my mind, and I say no. Forcing the dream to either roll back before whatever upset me, or shift me to somewhere else entirely. Can feel it in my head the energy i need to use to exert it. Sometimes I even speak in dream to help move it along. But generally I can take whatever my dreams are tossing at me. Attempting to sort out whatever situation its put me in while I continue my real task. Running away, and looking for something.